The Queen in Black is Back! Black Cat #3 Comic Book Recap

Writer: Jed MacKay

Artist: C.F. Villa

If you don’t know what’s going on in Felicia Hardy’s world during this King In Black Marvel Event, I suggest you check out my previous Black Cat Recap.

Now that we’re all caught up, you know that Felicia touched the magic wand that Doctor Strange was going to use to defeat the symbiote army, however since Doctor Strange was incapacitated Felicia decided to do it herself.

This issue finds Felicia trapped in a dark room with Black Fox, her father’s mentor, or rather, a dude who has taken on the shape of Black Fox? She believes that after she touched the wand she died, but Fox assures her this isn’t true.

Not the Black Fox aye? Definitely a Silver Fox tho

He goes on to tell her that he is old magic and basically he’s there to see if she’s worthy of the power she’s now holding.

Back in the real world she’s basically on autopilot, or as I like to call it, “being blacked out from overconsumption.”

Or at least that’s the only time I’ve had that experience. I’ve never touched an Asgardian wand. But I do know what I’m going to call going out to get drunk from now on.

Same thing I say when I see myself in a snapchats the day after a blackout! Wow so much in common.

So Felicia is all “I need to get back” and Fox is all “Come walk through this weird chess room with me.”

Oh I get it, it’s a test.

Felicia heads back and forth from the Asgardian body to the Magic Box or whatever the thing is that she is in, and she kills some symbiote dragons. I can explain this by coming to from a black out, or if you watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia, then it’s called “browning out”

Me replaying an IG story of taking a shot as another gets placed in my hand.

Fox decides to test her and find out her vulnerabilities and it goes like this:

Fox: When did you feel most vulnerable?

Black Cat: When my mom told me my dad died, but he was just in jail. So she a lyin’ ass hoe.

Fox: Gross.

BC: Yeah rude af. But I guess that was hard on her?

Fox: But mostly hard on you, right? Like when Doc Ock fucked up your shit?

BC: Yeah that sucked.

Doctor Strange then wakes us from his coma and he’s like she touched it? GOD DAMMIT! Meanwhile Asgardian Black Cat is still mercin’ all these hoes.

Still don’t know when she found time to braid her hair.

Felicia and Fox continue their “deep” conversation.

Fox : You needed power, Spider-Man showed you that. But no one would give you power except King Pin

Black Cat: Yeah. I know, idiot. I was there.

Read this. It’s kind of the point of the issue and I’m too lazy to explain.

Anyways

Fox: Look at all these people who beat you up.

BC: This is annoying, shut up.

Fox: Are you ready to say yes to ultimate power?

BC: Depends on what I get.

Fox: Your family back together

BC: Cool.

Fox: Power to kill all your enemies.

BC: Cool, cool.

Fox: All your former lovers will love you again.

BC: Those fucking nerds? Hell no! Fuck you I don’t want it!

Fox: WHUUUU??

SOMEBODY CATCH HER!

One of her nerds catches her from the sky and then Doctor Strange is all “wtf.”

And Black Cat is all “I almost took it all, but I really didn’t wanna touch Spider-Man’s peen again.”

It’s almost like it’s inside him

Of course it does end there, a bunch of symbiotes dragons are flying towards them.

Felicia asks Doctor Strange to magic her buddies out of there because all she wants is her nerds to be safe. They get teleported away to safety and Felicia and the Doctor get ready to fight some symbiotes.

Peen-nuts. Now I get it.

AND THAT’S THAT!

Their story continues in King in Black #4!

let me know in the comments if you’d like me to do a recap of that one. I do loves me some Black Cat!

Deadpool #10 Comic Book Recap: Let’s Merc These Hoes

Welcome back to another edition of your friendly neighborhood Comic Book Betch. This week I shall be recapping Deadpool #10. And Guess what the fuck what? It’s a King in Black adventure again!!! When Marvel goes for it, they go for it.

Written by the hilarious Kelly Thompson

Art by Gerardo Sandoval

Cover by Chris Sotomayor

Deadpool, or King Deadpool as he is known by now, is lamenting about the King in Black and how they’ll let anyone be King these days, and this King in Black has left the city, and his island, the Island of Staten…why did I say that? He’s on Staten Island. Anyways the whole country or world or something is covered in black goo. Same shit different issue.

Deadpool decides to have a groupthink with his honor guard, unfortunately everyone’s pretty dumb there, except for Elsa Bloodstone, who, if you’re not new to this blog, you know that I FUCKING STAN!

I can’t wait to see King Deadpool cosplay at a con.

In the groupthink they decide to form ANOTHER team, other than this guard, because the Island of Staten is full of monsters to choose from.

They form a team and then they walk into the room really cool like this:

What a badass group of monsters. And, awkwardly, one monster hunter.

So after they do their cool walk, these weird little priest monsters come in and tell King Deadpool that it’s the end of days, and Deadpool is like “Yeah. IT FUCKING ALWAYS IS.”

Unimpressed, Deadpool is about to walk away when the priest informs him that the monster that is here (The King in Black) is going to devour the King of Monsters as is prophesied, this gets Deadpool’s attention because HE IS the King of Monsters. But, Deadpool says that there is no way this is the Priests monster that they prophesied, it is a Marvel monster and it’s a comic book event, so instead of worrying about these priests and their dumb prophecies, he takes his team of monsters and goes to battle!

Okay, Kohlaab the Pile is definitely touching the symbiote.

Then it gets really sad because the monster eats the snowman, who I did not even bother to mention earlier, but he’s cool because he only speaks in winter-related puns, see what I did there?

NOT FROSTY THE UNMELTABLE SNOWMAN!

Shiny, the monster who shines a light through his mouth, opens his mouth and shoots a blinding hole through the wing of one of the venom dragons, and this gives the team a chance to regroup.

Then this next part is really cool. I love this comic book. Deadpool is literally such a great character and having Kelly Thompson write him!? UGH CHEF’S KISS.

Jeff the Shark touches the goo, and Deadpool is noticeably upset but he promises to find a way to save Jeff, Jeff is already turned though, and bites Deadpool on the hand. Elsa says they can’t afford to have Deadpool turned by the black goo because he is indestructible, TRUE, so Deadpool hacks off his hand. I love this comic book. Deadpool is the fucking best.

They totally stole this from The Walking Dead, except Rick is a bitch who can’t grow back limbs.

Deadpool and the team decide to do another cool group walk back into the scene, but it is rudely interrupted by Jelby, who left their group behind in issue #6. He comes bearing gifts though, a gift in the form of Jeff the Shark safely hidden away in a bowl of Jelby’s jelly.

The entire teams climbs inside of Jelby and they take on the venom dragon from inside of Jelby, Deadpool coins their conjoining as the “Monster-Tron” Patent pending.

I don’t know where all those lights are coming from, There is only one Shiny on the team that I know about.

Using a combination of butts and brains they are able to defeat the dragon symbiote monster, or at least they are able to throw the dragon into a giant hole, but as Elsa points out “it’s got sodding wings!”

This leads to the writer to doing a tie-in to a previous issue, and it’s all very romantic and beautiful and breaking of the fourth wall. As all Deadpool comics are.

He loves red heads. This is canon af.

As Deadpool fends off the dragon from below, Jelby jumps down to save the day!

He contains the dragon in his little jelly belly and Wade is forced to sever another limb to stop the symbiote goo from taking him over…but that does give me pause? Could these severed limbs come back as symbiotes? hmmmm…I GUESS NOT BECAUSE JUST LIKE ARMIE HAMMER, THIS SHIT IS CANCELED.

The day is saved, but there is still one thing left to deal with!

Deadpool already sounds like a dad.

They take a note from Spider-Man and get the symbiote off of Jeff using some loud-ass music. And then Jeff is back to normal and so freaking cute. I cannot.

LOOK AT THAT FACE OMG. OMFG.I LOVE YOU JEFF THE SHARK! I might get this last panel tattooed on me. Thoughts?

King Deadpool saves the day, and it turns out the priests were wrong, the monster will be coming to get him in 2022. A line is forming outside so that Deadpool can pay for the property damages he caused with all of this fighting, and Elsa gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek. All is well, except that this run is getting canceled and it’s the fucking worst thing that could happen to any of us because it is so good. I’m tired, you tired, Jesus wept.

Black Cats and Green Bats: Black Cat #2 Comic Book Recap.

Writer: Jed MacKay

Artist: C.F. Villa

Cover Artists: Pepe Larraz and Marte Gracia

Are you over Knull and his league of Symbiote dragons?

Well, I’m not!

This brings me to my wonderful recap, Queen in Black : Black Cat #2!

So the jist of issue #1 is this: Black Cat and friends were in the middle of a heist when Knull and the symbiotes attacked. The Avengers showed up but they couldn’t do shit, the most they could do was tell Felicia that she needs to save Doctor Strange because he’s the only hope in all of this mess. Captain America gave her this package that Doctor Strange needs to stop the symbiote and if she can deliver the package to Doctor Strange then he can save the world. Problem is, Doctor Strange is currently locked up in a symbiote goo prison on top of the Chrysler building.

Isn’t it lucky that my suit tore in THESE exact spots!?

Felicia and the boys meet up with symbiote expert Dr. Steve and the good doctor gives Felicia a prototype anti-venom suit. He had been working on these suits since before the invasion as he was warned in advance. LIKELY FUCKING STORY. Anyways it’s a combination of anti-venom serum and the lobotomized symbiote from the Absolute Carnage series.

Dr. Steve warns Felicia that the suits will basically dissolve at some point and the odds of her finding Dr. Strange in the symbiote goo faster than the suits will die off is slim to none.

However, Felicia knows a guy.

Dogs don’t play chess, they play poker. What an idiot.

With the suit, and a ghost dog, this mission is ready to begin. Felicia’s army of nerds gets her Goblin’s hovercraft to ride to the top of the Chrysler building and it looks pretty badass, I have to say.

Wouldn’t your feet just slip out of the back? What’s the point of those straps?

They make it to the goo prison and Felicia jumps off the aircraft and throws her ball of anti-symbiote suit-suit like a Pokeball and it’s binds to her, but she says it feels weird because it’s crawling all over her. BITCH, IT’S A LIVE SUIT. WHAT DID YOU THINK? You literally have alien organisms attaching to your body rn.

Look! There’s a black cat on her chest! AWWWW what a cute spot for a kitty.

Felicia and Bats, the ghost dog, land inside the goo ball, and although Felicia can breathe thanks to her suit, she can’t see anything. So how tf she gon’ get to the Doctahh? Luckily, Bats is like “hey hoe, I found him.”

She follows Bats through the goo and all the while she is just talking shit about symbiotes and how much she hates Eddie Brock and it’s all his fault, blah blah blah.

Just as Felicia’s suit is about to fail her and she starts wheezing for breath, they find Doctor Strange and she throws the Pokeball- er, I mean the anti-venom, er, anti-symbiote, NO! the SYMBIWON’T. hahhahaha. good one, betch. Anyways she throws that ball and the suit envelops Doctor Strange.

GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!

Bats leads them out of the goo and they fall from the sky, luckily Felicia’s nerds have the Spider-Man buggy and they drive up a wall to pick her up.

Here grab this pole I barely have a grip on. That should be fine for you and the large man you’re carrying.

One of Felicia’s nerds, Bruno is tasked with driving the buggy out of harm’s way, meanwhile the other nerd, Doc, his job is to wake up Doctor Strange. Black Cat creates the distraction by throwing bombs around, making light blasts, because symbiotes like the dark. Little known factoid for you all.

Felicia thinks and thinks in these black boxes throughout the chase scene about how they’re all just lowly thieves and caught up in a crazy mess and she just wants to steal, etc. Then this crazy ass mother fucker, Bruno, drives the little buggy off a building and they crash.

Spoiler alert: Everyone survives.

They regroup and their conversation goes like this:

Bruno: Hey, the buggy is dunzo.

Felicia: well that sucks cause if you look in this panel, there’s about a million symbiote dragons heading this way.

Doc: Panel, what are you-

Felicia: This package, you know the one that Comic Book Betch mentioned earlier? With the magic wand in it? We were supposed to deliver this to Doctor Strange so he can win.

Doc: Yeah, but why are you being so expositional right now? Who the hell is Comic Book Betch? You could just say “the wand” or the “package.”

Felicia: Shut up, Doc. Anyways, why don’t I just use it?

Bats: That’s a horrible idea. You don’t know what it does, also it’s magic and you’re not magic.

Doc: Yeah that’s a bad idea, you could die. Please don’t do it.

Bruno: Don’t do it, Felicia.

Felicia: ….

Bats: ?

Doc: ?

Bruno: ?

Felicia: I did it.

It looks like Doctor Strange’s collar is tiny arms and he is waving them around like ‘YAS QUEEN’

Turns out it was an Asgardian wand and it gave her a fucking GODDESS outfit. It even braided a piece of her hair! OMG.

DAMN. The whole ride from beginning to end was a 10/10 FOR ME DAWG!

I was not expecting this ending, and I am fully in support of an Asgardian Black Cat Goddess.

What do you hoes think? Sound off in the comments.

King in Black: Gwenom VS Carnage #1 Comic book recap – I wish these dragons didn’t eat my friends.

Written by Sean McGuire

Art by Flaviano

Colorist: Rico Renzi

Welcome back to another edition of your friendly neighborhood Comic Book Betch.

This Gwenom VS Carnage #1 is out now! I have high hopes for this run so let’s dive in shall we?

Gwenom AKA Ghost Spider, Peter Parker’s ex-girlfriend, and girl covered in living spiders, is going to college on a different dimension after getting run out of her dimension by evil Storm siblings. This we already know. She’s in college at Empire State University. She has three roommates that she loves very much, and the entire city is covered in Venom goo! Oh no!

She’s having some trouble rounding up these black gooey symbiotes because her Spidey senses don’t work on it.

She is literally Spider-Man.

Ghost Spider tries to save this guy from the symbiote goo. And of course the goo got him and turned him into a monster. So she heads back to her dorm to protect her roommates. But who follows her there?

None other than the dragon goo monsters!

Unfortunately, she cannot save them in time and they all turn into goo pods.

I never knew symbiotes were dragons. COOOOLLL

Then Ghost Spider is a total fucking bad ass, webs herself up some boots and rides that goo dragon like fucking Khaleesi.

I love bad bitches. THAT’S MY MOTHER FUCKING PROBLEM.

Then she says she needs to find out what’s going on, so she needs Peter or Miles’ help? Why the fuck do you need a man’s help, bitch? You can solve this shit on your own. I blame the writer. Why even bring that up? We don’t need that line. Throw it out, burn it, bury it the in backyard. Mourn tomorrow because today Ghost Spider is lighting up this shit.

So as she’s crying about needing a man’s help, she decides she’s going to use her necklace to teleport back to her dimension because obviously the world is over here. Unfortunately something is fucked up with the transporter and I’m not really sure what’s going on there.

Looks like some goo got her.

Back in Earth-65 however, Mary Jane is being used as a torture victim for the Jackal, who is upset that Gwen Stacey is gone so he’s gotta use this bitch as his second choice. Just like Peter!

Too soon?

He tries to douse her in the same spiders that Gwen uses to make her Ghost Spider suit. Because with his logic, the spiders are bonded to Gwen and Gwen is bonded to Mary-Jane, sooo, a friend of my friend is also my friend?

Mary Jane screams out for her friend, Gwen. And somehow they are bonded together and Mary-Jane is forced into the Earth-616 time zone.

“Hmmm…did you guys have any other friends? No? Oh. Damn.”

So Mary-Jane in Earth-616 gets there by basically splitting Gwen in half, however Gwen is fine after she births the 20-something full grown woman from her chest.

Gwen was midway in the air while MJ came careening out of her chest so now she is falling from the sky and Gwen is just in time to save her life.

Unfortunately they fall into a pile of goo and MJ is immediately corrupted.

Knull the God of the Symbiotes is creepily watching all of this happen, hence the red in the last panel. I guess he sees everything in red? So how does he notice red flags amiright? He probably doesn’t date much amiright? Okay, I’m done.

So Knull feels MJ and merges with her. Yuck. So now he has taken over Mary-Jane’s symbiote body and she has become Carnage. HENCE THE NAME OF THE COMIC.

Wait, why do you get to be Carnage???” “Because I have red hair, duh. Geeze Gwen you’re so dumb.”

We’re off to the races now aren’t we boys! And did you notice that nice new Symbiote suit Gwen’s got on? Pretty sweet.

Will you be reading the next issue of Gwenom VS Carnage? Let me know in the comments!!