Feels right to continue on recapping Pandemica given the times… So weird that it came out and I was so into this comic that I recapped the second issue too, and now the world has ended! But #3 and #4 are out so I’m going to recap both and hopefully #5 comes out soon!
So, we begin with D and the ginger boning.
THEY ARE IN LOVE! AND TRUST ISSUES WILL NOT COME BACK TO HAUNT THEM!
The ginger (Chick) brings up that the last time they slept together they ended the day by trying to shoot each other. I wonder what today will bring? As they get dressed to start their day, the TV says this pandemic is the worst they’ve seen since the Spanish Flu!
Hmm? Sounds familiar, no?
The TV continues to talk and basically recap what we already know, that there are multiple strains of this sickness which is making it impossible to cure. The TV also lets us know that our friend Moses has assembled a team of racially and gender diverse scientists to find the people responsible for the so called “purity bombs.”
Cause guess who is behind this? Rich, white people. The worst kind of people, IMHO.
Next up, we have Loverboy who is watching Fox News. He also just got some last night from a sad prostitute whose nose he broke. Loverboy, indeed.
Why don’t the poors realize that they just need to get well-paying jobs with healthcare? Then they wouldn’t be poor and without healthcare! DUH!
Loverboy, dressed as a UPS driver, meets up with a bunch of other UPS drivers. It seems that he has gone straight and the comic can now end.
That’s just too many white people.
So Moses’ team is checking out the bodies of mutated infected. These people I believe are white people who got hit with a purity bomb called “Bloodhound.”
CUT TO: The white people behind these bombs. They’re discussing the risks behind setting more of these bombs off. The lady says that they’ve only tested areas with barely any white people in it, the guy is like who cares let’s set it off, hoe. And she’s like but our people could get infected and he’s all, bitch what? No way, they’re not pure whities then.
Way harsh, Ty.
Now we get some boring scene between the daughter of the billionaire guy who hates anyone who isn’t white and she is talking to a senator or member of congress or something who is her dad’s bitch and he’s scared because this has gone way too far but he can’t say anything because billionaire zaddy is the one who keeps his pockets fat.
POTUS, who is also owned by said billionaire, makes a public announcement that everything is fine. SOUNDS V FAMILIAR!!
De and Gingerbread man discuss what POTUS says and Ginger decides for once in his life he’s for sure on the good side. Yeah, I agree, any side that wants to stop the mass murdering of people is def the good side.
CUT TO:
Moses on the phone with the scared senator from earlier. They are discussing going against POTUS to stop this craziness. Moses says he has his people working on a presentation that will prove that these are bio-weapons and not just a virus. He is just waiting on the lab reports being delivered from six different labs. And as luck would have it the delivery people have arrived as he is on the phone.
RUH-ROH
Meanwhile De and her freckle-faced lover are blowing up a different lab one that is working on said purity bombs. Yay!
They shoot everybody up and they all die except one guy who they question. He doesn’t have much information but he tells them that the cure to all these diseases lies in one of the babies downstairs. And they’re like “hmm babies?”
Back to Loverboy at Moses’ lab. Loverboy the stand up king of comedy makes a great speech about how Moses is not Jesus then shoots one of Moses’ doctors and demands to know where De’neesa and Chick are. Moses won’t give it up so Loverboy decides to come back tomorrow and if De and Chick aren’t there he’s going to kill everybody. Neat.
Meanwhile, Chick and De have taken the man to where they keep the babies. He let’s them know that Moses is right about everything he thinks is happening. The goal of the “ark” as they call it, is to preserve pure whiteness and get rid of everybody else. WE KNOW.
How you gonna say this in front a black woman with a gun?
So after that delightful speech, they ping a button and open up to a lab full of babies in tubes. Cute!!
POD BABIES!
CUT TO: De’nessa holding a stolen baby in a hazmat suit. Chick is mad at her for lying to her and thinks she’s crazy. This panel is from the future, so shit hasn’t hit the fan quite yet, but it’s about to. Chick holds a gun to the baby and then to De’s face.
DE: I don’t think you’re going to shoot me so I’m just going to walk away, k bye.
The first issue of this comic book by Jonathan Maberry really got me interested in this series, in the second part of the story we find out more about who is behind the Chika-who-da-whats-its virus. And it’s white people. SPOILER.
In the last issue we learned that Moses set up a group of people together to find out who is behind this contagion that has killed 800,000 people. And Chick and De are on it.
Ooo a skylight! Fancy!
They scope out a science HQ and drop in. Chick thinks it’s going to be easy, but De knows that they need proof. So that’s their main mission. Get in without taking too many lives, and get out with proof that these a-holes are behind an ethnic genocide using bio-weapons.
What’s so interesting about this story is it happens all the time in the world, perhaps not to this scale, but ethnic groups are targeted by people with more money or more technology all the time. I mean, America was literally created by decimating groups of brown people by white people bringing in their nasty-ass plagues because they used to live on streets with poop on them. Plus they were infested with all kinds of STIs cause they hoes which they happily passed onto these brown people who have no tolerance for it. So that was cool. ANYWAYS, I digress.
Does anyone else love how eloquently I write?
Chick and De come in hot, blowing up these scientists and their security guards left and right. Chick is like “this is fun.” De is like “Um we need someone alive to question.”
How many deaths do you think, these two are responsible for? Ironic.
Chick and De find a scientist to question. He tells them that the people responsible call themselves the “Ark” and forced the scientists into creating these viruses through extortion and blackmail. He mentioned that they possessed “photos” so you know, they were probably cheating on their wives with transgender hookers or looking at kiddie porn online. Most men are terrible.
The scientist tells them everything about who hired them and the different viruses his team created and targeted. But sadly, they can’t take him with them because he gets shot in the head by a snyper. A dumb snyper who doesn’t shoot the other two. Like, hello? Shoot De and Chick. Anyways, they left a bomb inside the place so I guess that was supposed to take care of them, but it didn’t because they didn’t make it back inside before the bomb exploded. So now they don’t have evidence, except what they heard from the guy who is dead now. They should have worn body cams. JUST MY OPINION.
I like this panel because the blood from the guys head keeps dripping down and then Chick says this insane thing. Which I am going to start saying all the time.
De and Chick return to their HQ without a scientist, without samples, without any evidence since it was all blown up and/or shot in the head. The people at the HQ discuss their next steps.
Moses: We need evidence and since Pandemica is unofficial we can’t ask for samples.
De: We’ll just kill a bunch of people and get the samples that way.
Chick: Loverboy is on their team. He scares me. I keep his photo with me always.
Me and Loverboy are the bestest friends.
Scientist: So, as it turns out these viruses also cause random mutations in differing people. It’s only a matter of time before these mutations become extreme. Like in this photo, comic book betch is going to show you below.
Yum.
CUT TO:
INT: The Ark – Day
The billionaire guy from issue #1 and his evil daughter are speaking with one of their scientists discussing these new mutations.
Billionaire Guy: What’s happening, why are white people mutating?
Scientist: There is no such thing as ethnic purity.
Evil Daughter: Um, actually everyone with white skin is ethnically pure except for Jews. Idiot. Haven’t you ever read books by these racists, Arthur de Gobineu and Hans Gunther!? They say Eugenics is the shit. And I’m here to tell you, absolutely fuck yeah. If these white people are mutating it’s because they have mud in their blood. I’m going to start calling them Mudbloods.
Scientist: Mudbloods is a made-up slur for witches and wizards born to muggles in the Harry Potter universe.
ED: Oh then, I’ll call them No-Majs.
Scientist: What? That is less offensive, but it’s a term for muggles in America-
ED: I’m not understanding.
Scientist: Anyways, these viruses are mutating white people which are dangerous to the population and you’ve basically started an apocalypse. That’s where this story is going now. Please follow along.
I think you mean, Mudblood, Dad.
We’re done with that scene, next up Moses and the Scientist he has put on some bio-suits and go into the wild for some samples.
These “dirty white” mutants have taken over a bunch of cities, like Washington DC and Philadelphia.
Other than not being cute and causing riots, I am unsure of what they do.
The Pandemica crew discusses how unhelpful their government in America is, since these outbreaks are happening in 32 states and many people are dying, and the government is simply calling it a “natural disaster.”
De believes that is the Ark blackmailed their scientists they probably blackmailed some key people in Washington. They decide to take what they know to the media instead of relying on the government for support. And what they know is that being white isn’t enough when it comes to bio-weapons. The disproportionate numbers come from, most likely, vaccinations beforehand. So what they need is the blood of the ones who have survived these outbreaks. Moses says that won’t work because people can refuse to have their blood drawn. De and Chick said, that’s not a problem for them because they don’t need permission.
PIZZAA!!!!!!!
Back to the white baddies. They’re at some sort of white person soiree. And one of their friends is mutating from these diseases they unleashed. It turns out that The billionaire guy has a “bloodhound” that MIGHT be able to stop the mutations. But it might also kill all the white people, too. The BG doesn’t care though because he believes himself to be a chosen one from God or something.
Hey, nobody said racists were smart, ok?
Then we do another cut-to, to the future this time. De is carrying a baby in a hazmat suit. As it turns out, this bloodhound completely destroyed the world as we know it and the key to something lies in the baby’s blood. But De can’t let the baby fall into the wrong hands, so she is protecting her. But then this happens.
Ruh-Roh!
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS:
Don’t trust gingers.
K, thanks for reading! SERIOUSLY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! If you liked this go ahead and leave me a comment!
Once in a while I stumble across a comic book that really gets me thinking. Pandemica is one of those.
I was blown away by the awesomeness of this comic book, but when I shared the plot with a friend of mine he said it was a bit too “on the nose” for his taste. Well, now YOU can be the judges of that. For me, Pandemica was the fucking shit. For him, it was just shit. So I definitely want to know ya’lls opinion.
Now for the thankings. This story was written by Jonathan Maberry. ART by Alex Sanchez. COLORS by Jay Fotos. LETTERS by Shawn Lee.
We begin with Chapter 1: APTLY TITLED- GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS.
Which honestly, would be such a great name for a hip hop album, but I digress.
We begin two months ago with this dude or female IDFK in a hazmat suit pouring some green liquid into the pipes of detention complex while one lone and old ass security guard walks around with a gun not noticing shit. The mission was so easy that he is legit in and out.
He looks so guilty.
So, cut to, all of these detainees, dead and their bodies in bags. None of the guards were hurt by it, none of the staff of the detention just the fucking prisoners. It is baffling.
What is in the plug.
Now the news got hold of it and some fat man with a cigar that gives off way too much smoke is talking to his daughter about the news and what they’re saying. I’m assuming these two are the bad guys because they’re upset that the media figured it out. BUT HOW THE FUCK WOULDN’T THE MEDIA FIGURE IT OUT. THEY’RE BEING SO DAMN OPEN ABOUT IT. Yeah 90,000 people are dead. That’s fine. Look the other way.
Daddy, look we’re on TV!!
Let me explain,
The news guy is all “CHIKUNGUNYA is a virus usually spread by bug bites that had a mortality rate of one in a thousand, but there is a new strain of it, (New strain as in someone fucked with the original strain and weaponized it) that has a mortality rate of 70%. The pattern of its spreading makes absolutely no fucking sense because only certain people are dying from it. Like tribes that are literally right next to each other, one will die and the other tribe will have no deaths. And places that are getting hit are detention centers filled with immigrants, poor neighborhoods in Mexico, in Haiti, Puerto Rico, poor areas of India. BASICALLY IF YOU ARE BROWN AND POOR THEN YOU ARE GETTING KILLED BY THIS VIRUS.
Hazmat Man 1: Whoa dude there’s like a camera here. Hazmat Man 2: Whooaaa.
(So, basically I’m next.)
Now there’s an interview with a handsome black newsman and one Mister Dr. Katz.
Dr. Katz believes this is a weaponized attack on the poorest people and people of color. The newsman is like “you’re quite bold to say that. It’s not possible.”
Nice suit, Edgar.
And Dr. Katz is all “Oh mother fucker it is possible look at all this damning evidence.”
And the newsman is like “What? Are you saying someone is deliberating mass murdering people?”
And Dr. Katz is like “Yeah. It’s not mother nature. She’s a bitch but she ain’t a racist. This is an ethnic bio-weapon. Someone is selling GENOCIDE.”
IT’S PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS, EDGAR!
BUHM BUH BUHHH!!!
Oh it’s so crazy and it hit me in the heart because damn we are so close to this happening and what a damn shame amiright? Like how scary!! America already kind of does this shit on not a bio-level attack, but they make it impossible for people of color to get decent paying jobs and insurance and education…and OMG WE ALREADY DO IT! DON’T YOU SEE???!! AMERICA IS PANDEMICA.
I digress again.
So, now everybody is worried about Dr. Katz because he went on TV and called out the higher ups for planting genocide attacks. And now all of the congressmen want him fired and the President is off tweeting about what a liar Dr. Katz is, so he decides to quit his job which I have no idea what his fucking job is. I guess he is a Doctor with a TV show or something. Anyways, he goes on multiple TV shows and speaks at multiple town halls getting the word out as best as he can. Luckily he is a secret millionaire. ALWAYS A V LUCKY THING TO BE.
So he decides to create a taskforce of doctors, nurses, scientists, lawyers, and investigators so that he can get to the bottom of this genocide.
YEAH SO SCARED I’M SHAKING IN MY $5,000 SUIT! WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN IS I SPILL SOME COFFEE ON MY $6,300 SUIT!! COME ON!
BACK TO THE FAT MAN WITH THE CIGAR.
Now fat man is talking to a hit man named Loverboy. Loverboy chooses to wear a large winter jacket but no shirt underneath. He has very strong pecs and a six or maybe 8 pack while in a sitting position. So he is jacked. But it is never answered to why he doesn’t wear a shirt but chooses to wear a heavy jacket that he leaves open. I will be emailing the artists to ask them if this was an artistic choice or maybe I’ll email the writer and ask him if this is truly something the character of Loverboy would do, and then I would want to dive into his psyche to figure out why. Because, to me, this makes absolutely no fucking sense. OKAY THANKS BYE.
Redhead: Loverboy, did, um…did you forget to put on a shirt today?
Dr. Katz is on his car phone, ya know where you can talk on the phone but it comes out of the speaker of the car so you can keep your hands on 10 and 2? Eyes on the road buddy.
He decides to get the “band back together.” Seems he was on another special forces team. He’s not just a regular Doctor, he’s a cool doctor. SO he’s on the phone getting this special team together when a truck comes out of NOWHERE and hits him.
Whoops.
And that’s the first hit. He survives but the truck driver says he just left a bar so he’ll get arrested for drunk driving and they’ll deal with him in jail. UNFORTUNATELY FOR LOVERBOY Dr. Katz is a reformed alchoholic and no longer drinks. So he passes a breathalizer and asks the cop to check the traffic cam. The traffic cam doesn’t have any footage conveniently so Dr. Katz goes home.
Loverboy says there are other ways to kill him, so give him a week and Dr. MOSES Katz will be dead. A little too ON the NOSE of a first name as well, but we’ll let it happen.
The next day, Moses meets up with a woman that he used to work with. ON his special team or whatever. They meet up for coffee and discuss working together again she thinks his idea is illegal and she reminds him that after Syria their “team” stopped working together for good reason. Mostly the reason is that the team is dead except for one other guy and the other guy, “Chick” blames the woman for “what happened” and I believe the “what happened” is that all their team died.
This bitch nails’ are fleeky
She isn’t quite keen on joining him in his conspiracy theory thing, but she does find the accident to be a little “hinky” because the traffic cam wasn’t available so she agrees to investigate that at least.
She checks out a little bodega near where the accident occured. The man at the bodega says he does a camera that faces that way and he found it odd that the police did not want to check it.
She checks out the security footage and lets Moses know that he is not crazy and there is indeed someone following him and blah blah.
What she doesn’t know is that someone is following her too. She takes to the streets after making the call and a homeless man bumps into her and calls her a bitch, then these three people attack her.
OOO SHE DONE USED ONE GUYS BODY TO HIT ANOTHER GUY IN THE HEAD LOL
After beating all these people up she gets fired at by a gunman in a car. She pulls out her own gun and fires at the people who attacked her when she notices where the other gunfire is actually coming from. Loverboy is in the car. And guess what? She fucking knows him. FROM SYRIA. Omg they used to be friends. This goes DEEPER than we thought.
And a single tear fell from her eye. Okay it didn’t but they should have played that shit up.
De’neesa is the woman’s name, so I should probably start calling her that instead of woman, and she makes a call to “Chick” Chick is a ginger with freckles and he’s gross and I don’t trust him. He is also wearing an army uniform so that adds to my distrust. Never trust a man in uniform. ANYWAYS she makes a call to Chick and she’s like guess what Chick, I didn’t kill Loverboy he’s alive I saw him. And he’s like “well he must be a zombie then because we both saw him die.” Whatta fucking goon.
Hey, stay on your knees while I make this phone call? Thanks.
Anyways more convo:
D: So we took away a briefcase from the Russians, that was one of Loverboy’s tricks you know that one. He pulled that same one on me outside of the Bodega.
C: Okay, now I believe you because he used the same style to jump you as he did to the Russians. That’s all it took, I am 100% on your side now.
D: Loverboy’s death broke us apart, our entire team. But now we know that it was all a part of something bigger. He scammed us. This was part of his plan.
C: Well now I feel like a patsie. Whatever that is. I mourned him like a brother and he’s still alive according to you and this one story which I 100% agree with even though I saw nothing with my own eyes. And it does seem out of character for me as I held a grudge against you for several years but all of a sudden you call me and say “hey I didn’t kill loverboy he faked his death” and now everything is PEACHY.
D: Great. So uh, what you up to?
C: I heard about Moses’ conspiracy before this and honestly I’m dealing with the same thing over here in Africa or something. I caught these Bantu cocksuckers trying to dump some biohazard waste into a Congolese village. I’m going to go beat the shit out of them now, so I gotta go. See you soon, I’ll be on the first flight out. BAII!!!
D: Have fun!! Baiii!!
Even that guy who is about to get his ass beat is just rolling his eyes at how corny this Chick dude is.
NEXT SCENE
Moses and De’Neesa call a meeting so they can their new team together and it’s a bunch of weirdos and POC. THE RESISTANCE!!!
“Designer bio-weapons” by Givenchy out now.
Moses gives them a beautiful speech about how “We have to stop this” Because “no one else will” and because of Chick they now have the evidence to show that they are right.
Loverboy and the Fat man and his daughter the girl catch wind that Moses has now formed this team and they’re scared.
The daughter says that because they have what they sold to the Bantu they can reverse engineer it and tie it all back to them. Loverboy is like “Don’t get your panties in a bunch, doll.”
He don’t GAF. AND he is still not wearing a SHIRT!!
Shocking how they could fit the fat man in that small of a panel.
Comic Book Bitch 