Remember when I recapped Cable? Well, we’re still in that universe for X-Men #15. Cable is a teenager and the X-Men live on Krakoa.
This one is written by Jonathan Hickman, Art by Mahmud Asrar, and Cover Art by Sonny Gho.
What a nice name Sonny is. Very nice.
Moving on, Cable has been taken and now his mommy and daddy are coming to save him! Aww. Before they jump into action to save their captured son, they decide to pontificate for a while on a random hill.
Apparently it’s been over an hour since Nathan AKA Cable screamed out to his parents to save him, but they need to make one more pit stop before they go save him.
You think it’s cool to have the head of the X-Men and the most powerful mutant as your father and mother, respectively, but it turns out they’re just as awful as regular parents who forget to pick you up from pre-school so you have to stay through for the PM class, but on the plus side you get two lunches that day, and you never have to go back because now your parents are ashamed and afraid that they’re going to be reported to child services. Oh, wait was that just me?
I digress, anyways, so they show up to this round table of people who decide things because Krakoa is more important than their son. Cool, cool.
Meanwhile in the Otherworld Starlight Citadel, Khaleesi mother of dragons has pit husband and wife against each other in a fight to the death. Good to see she’s doing well after her death in Game of Thrones.
So those ^^ two chat, and Apocalypse (the big guy) asks his wife to take off her mask, and she’s like “we’re in a pandemic” And he’s like -_-. So she’s like “fine” and she takes her mask off and they fight to the death.
Then we’re back to Jean and Scott who are telling this round table that Cable is in serious danger, cause he reached out psychically from Otherworld and it is nearly impossible to do so, but he’s in grave danger so, he was able to reach out from that far, because he is inches from death. But they’re also sure he can last a few more days if not hours.
The round table is like, “geeze your kid is dying that sucks…for you.”
Jean: Krakoa is also in danger.
Round Table: Why the fuck didn’t you lead with that?
So Cyclops tells the round table their plan which is to take a strike team to the Otherworld to get the people who were stolen back. And once the people are home they will close the gates for good so no one can attack them and they’ll be closed off from the world…s forever! Yay! Island quarantine!
So, the round table is like “that plan is dumb.”
Then Nightcrawler is like “count me in!”
Then the round table is like “no, you’re not going dummy. We’re a government and we can’t be doing shit all willy-nilly.”
Then Emma Frost talks to Cyclops in his head and she calls him “love” what a home-wrecking hoe. Or is Jean the home wrecker at this point? I can’t figure out these timelines anymore. SO I wonder since they had a psychic conversation not out loud to the panel, didn’t Jean hear? She’s psychic, amiright?
Then the circle decides that they’re just going to close the gates and save their own asses, and Cyclops is all “Well you’re the government of Krakoa, But The X-Men are the heroes!”
So, they finally go pick up Cable from pre-school, er- I mean, from certain doom.
Cyclops is like : Jean, you ready.
Jean: Fucking duh. I’ve been trying to get you to stop talking for the last fucking hour.
So this whole time Scott has been talking, Khaleesi has Apocalypse fighting to the death against his wife, and we’re back to them and the wife is like “yield, you fool!” Then he stabs his wife. Probably because he is 300lbs and she is 87lbs, Didn’t seem like a fair fight to me, considering he is also an asshole. She’s bleeding out on the floor and Khaleesi is like “kill her, dude.” And Apocalypse is like “no, that’s my wife. It’s only cool to maim her, not kill her completely.”
But then uh-oh what’s this the wife puts her mask back on, and she’s back in the fight.
Ah, so this whole issue was just a PSA to wear your damn masks!
Comic Book Bitch 