Got my hands on a pretty sweet annual this week. It’s nice to be back to reading my comics. I can’t tell you how far I’ve fallen behind this summer. Now that it’s getting cold out and I’ll never leave my house again, I get to catch up on all my favorite heroes. And when I made my trip to the comic book store this week I just couldn’t pass up an opportunity to pick up a new Deadpool.
I don’t want to bore you with the gory details, so let’s get into this recap.
Deadpool Acts of Evil starts with this kid having a nightmare. He is walking down this long, spooky hallway holding a candle stick and at the end of the hallway is this scary ass lawn gnome. Lawn gnomes suck. They’re just ugly little ghouls who sit in your yard.
Then we find Deadpool who is playing a game at an arcade where he shoots babies.
With vaccinations.
He’s not some crazy ass goose.
This mailman finds him and gives him a letter from the Nightmare kid which spurs Deadpool into calling the mailman every name of every famous mailman from TV ever. I didn’t recognize 99% of the refrences. Sooooo, nice try tho. It was almost a funny bit.
Deadpool absconds with the mailman’s truck and makes his way to the little boy’s house. His hot babysitter, Kim, answers the door and Deadpool hilariously mistakes her for the boys mother.
The boy hears Deadpool arrive and believes it to be Squirrel Girl. He is surprised and somewhat upset that it’s not Squirrel Girl as he wrote to her 200 times about his nightmares and wrote to Deadpool only once. The boy’s room is also covered in Squirrel Girl memorbilia. The child is a freak, but Deadpool is the reason that bitch is famous now so I guess it was a clever callback.
I seem like I hate this story, because I’m a salty little bitch, but trust me it gets good.
Deadpool learns that Kim is the babysitter and not the boys mom. The boy explains that she watches him on weekends and his neighbor, Mr. Hewitt, watches him during the week. Meanwhil his parents vacation on their fourth honeymoon.
Deadpool hears the boys story about his bad dreams and realizes that he needs to get into the boy’s nightmares to kill the perp. SO the only place he can go is Dr. Strange’s Sanctamonium. Obviously.
He breaks his ass in and steals a totem from Dr. Strange’s collection of mysterious objects meanwhile some bald ass monk ninja’s him with some crazy moves. This is all well and good though because in order for Deadpool to enter the dreamworld he has to die. So he hurls himself out of a window, naturally.
It works and he ends up in a Nightmare land that Neil Gaiman would be envious of.
He meets the aptly named villian, Nighmare. Nightmare is this green guy who looks kind of like Loki? Mixed with the guy who played the Crow? Idk. He’s a nightmare. So turns out the Nightmare feeds on fears or something and speaks in rhymes. He tortures some of the most famous people in the world, such as Queen Marie Antoinette and President Abraham Lincoln. Ripe for spin-off. We could learn some shit!!
Anyways Nightmare is like: now I’m going to feed of your fears, Deadpool!
And Deadpool is like: well, I fear clowns, cows, and clown cows but I’m not here to fight them. I’m hear to save this boy from a terrible fate.
So Nightmare is all: I only feed off their fears and let them bring their fears to my realm. Whatever goes on in their shitty lives outside of this that creates the nightmare is not really my problem. Ya dig?
So Deadpool is all: Oh, so the nightmares are coming from something bad happening in his waking life, got it. Thanks for your Ted Talk. Can you show me the nightmare so I can figure it out.
Nightmare: Yeah, totes. Here ya go.
Then he shows Deadpool the nightmare of the lawn gnome running at the boy and Deadpool is like oh shit. I gotta wake up and be alive again because now I gots to kill someone in real life.
He rips off the amulet and comes back to life after hurling himself out of the window you know? So theres like this crowd of people like “omg is he dead?” But then he just gets up and this one guy is like “go to a hospital!” And Deadpool is like “erm, how about no, Scott.”
*Triggering*
Then he makes them pay for his uber back to the kids house so he can catch the NEIGHBOR MR. HEWITT right before he attacks the little boy. As it turns out the nieghbor had been creating the nightmares the little boy was experiencing because he was a pedophile. The worst kinda fuck up.
So Deadpool beats the shit out of him. SO hard in fact, I’m pretty sure the pedophile is dead. Which is great because you know once he got better he would go back to fucking little boys again.
The little boy wakes up and is like :Deadpool? What’s going on.
And Deadpool is like : You owe me 7 dollars.
So DP jumps out of another window after taking his payment, this time he lands successfully on his two feet.
Dr. Strange comes out of the glowing hole he likes to come out of and yells at him like wtf, hoe? You broke into my GoTDAMN home. SO Deadpool is like yeah to help a little boy, yeesh. Here’s your dumbass amulet back I don’t even want it anymore.
So Dr Strange is like, did the amulet work? What happened? Ooo.
And Deadpool is like, I saw some dreams and met a guy named Nightmare.
Then an old woman approaches them on the street to ask if they are magicians because she needs someone to be an act at her son or grandson’s birthday party. She is old af so IDK how she has a 12 year old. She looks about 80. BUt white people age like milk so I guess she could be 50?
ANYWAYS Dr. Strange leaves in his fire hole and Deadpoool is like I’ll do it, but she don’t want him. So he just leaves.
THE END.
Wow. I feel like I learned something and I felt something. When I first read it, I was like holy shit. Deadpool for some reason has become the hero that can talk about the hard things in life. I remember the comic book Marvel did with him about the girl who was going to commit suicide and he took her on a long trip to show her that life has meaning, especially hers. It was a beautiful take. And I personally liked how they did this comic.
Have you read Deadpool Acts of Evil yet??
What did you think!? Let me know in the comments!!
Deadpool Acts of Evil was Written by: Dana Schwartz
Penciled by: Reilly Brown
Inked by : Nelson De Castro and Craig Yeung
Color: Matt Herms and Guru-2fx
Cover by Aaron Kruder and Michael Garland
Variant cover by: John Tyler Christopher
Comic Book Bitch 