Deadpool #10 Comic Book Recap: Let’s Merc These Hoes

Welcome back to another edition of your friendly neighborhood Comic Book Betch. This week I shall be recapping Deadpool #10. And Guess what the fuck what? It’s a King in Black adventure again!!! When Marvel goes for it, they go for it.

Written by the hilarious Kelly Thompson

Art by Gerardo Sandoval

Cover by Chris Sotomayor

Deadpool, or King Deadpool as he is known by now, is lamenting about the King in Black and how they’ll let anyone be King these days, and this King in Black has left the city, and his island, the Island of Staten…why did I say that? He’s on Staten Island. Anyways the whole country or world or something is covered in black goo. Same shit different issue.

Deadpool decides to have a groupthink with his honor guard, unfortunately everyone’s pretty dumb there, except for Elsa Bloodstone, who, if you’re not new to this blog, you know that I FUCKING STAN!

I can’t wait to see King Deadpool cosplay at a con.

In the groupthink they decide to form ANOTHER team, other than this guard, because the Island of Staten is full of monsters to choose from.

They form a team and then they walk into the room really cool like this:

What a badass group of monsters. And, awkwardly, one monster hunter.

So after they do their cool walk, these weird little priest monsters come in and tell King Deadpool that it’s the end of days, and Deadpool is like “Yeah. IT FUCKING ALWAYS IS.”

Unimpressed, Deadpool is about to walk away when the priest informs him that the monster that is here (The King in Black) is going to devour the King of Monsters as is prophesied, this gets Deadpool’s attention because HE IS the King of Monsters. But, Deadpool says that there is no way this is the Priests monster that they prophesied, it is a Marvel monster and it’s a comic book event, so instead of worrying about these priests and their dumb prophecies, he takes his team of monsters and goes to battle!

Okay, Kohlaab the Pile is definitely touching the symbiote.

Then it gets really sad because the monster eats the snowman, who I did not even bother to mention earlier, but he’s cool because he only speaks in winter-related puns, see what I did there?

NOT FROSTY THE UNMELTABLE SNOWMAN!

Shiny, the monster who shines a light through his mouth, opens his mouth and shoots a blinding hole through the wing of one of the venom dragons, and this gives the team a chance to regroup.

Then this next part is really cool. I love this comic book. Deadpool is literally such a great character and having Kelly Thompson write him!? UGH CHEF’S KISS.

Jeff the Shark touches the goo, and Deadpool is noticeably upset but he promises to find a way to save Jeff, Jeff is already turned though, and bites Deadpool on the hand. Elsa says they can’t afford to have Deadpool turned by the black goo because he is indestructible, TRUE, so Deadpool hacks off his hand. I love this comic book. Deadpool is the fucking best.

They totally stole this from The Walking Dead, except Rick is a bitch who can’t grow back limbs.

Deadpool and the team decide to do another cool group walk back into the scene, but it is rudely interrupted by Jelby, who left their group behind in issue #6. He comes bearing gifts though, a gift in the form of Jeff the Shark safely hidden away in a bowl of Jelby’s jelly.

The entire teams climbs inside of Jelby and they take on the venom dragon from inside of Jelby, Deadpool coins their conjoining as the “Monster-Tron” Patent pending.

I don’t know where all those lights are coming from, There is only one Shiny on the team that I know about.

Using a combination of butts and brains they are able to defeat the dragon symbiote monster, or at least they are able to throw the dragon into a giant hole, but as Elsa points out “it’s got sodding wings!”

This leads to the writer to doing a tie-in to a previous issue, and it’s all very romantic and beautiful and breaking of the fourth wall. As all Deadpool comics are.

He loves red heads. This is canon af.

As Deadpool fends off the dragon from below, Jelby jumps down to save the day!

He contains the dragon in his little jelly belly and Wade is forced to sever another limb to stop the symbiote goo from taking him over…but that does give me pause? Could these severed limbs come back as symbiotes? hmmmm…I GUESS NOT BECAUSE JUST LIKE ARMIE HAMMER, THIS SHIT IS CANCELED.

The day is saved, but there is still one thing left to deal with!

Deadpool already sounds like a dad.

They take a note from Spider-Man and get the symbiote off of Jeff using some loud-ass music. And then Jeff is back to normal and so freaking cute. I cannot.

LOOK AT THAT FACE OMG. OMFG.I LOVE YOU JEFF THE SHARK! I might get this last panel tattooed on me. Thoughts?

King Deadpool saves the day, and it turns out the priests were wrong, the monster will be coming to get him in 2022. A line is forming outside so that Deadpool can pay for the property damages he caused with all of this fighting, and Elsa gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek. All is well, except that this run is getting canceled and it’s the fucking worst thing that could happen to any of us because it is so good. I’m tired, you tired, Jesus wept.

Comic Book Recap: Deadpool Kills Deadpool #1

No Hit- Girl this week.

But Since Deadpool’s premiere is just around the corner I’ve decided to recap issue #1 of Deadpool Kills Deadpool. HOORAY!

Todd episode!

JK.

We begin in Deadpool’s dirty kitchen. There are empty pizza boxes laying around and dishes piled in the sink. He probably stinks. A masked man is making fun of Headpool for not having an intestinal track. Rude.

The man in the mask sticks Headpool into the microwave and blasts his brains away.

 

NO!! Zombie-Pool!!!

 

After the zombie Headpool explodes in the microwave, the man in the mask is revealed from the shadows and he looks a lot like Deadpool, but in an all-black costume. He really is always trying to one-up Spider-Man isn’t he?

Anyways it becomes incredibly obvious that this man in the mask is our “hero” Deadpool. Cause lyke right after this, he bodyslides by one.

 

Serving head and face.

 

After Pool bodyslides we go back to the “Real Marvel Universe” and they lose me. Just stop confusing me, Marvel.

Deadpool is battling the Ultimatum and making quips about other superheroes. My favorite was “stop hacking my Bieber and Beers Tumblr account”  –  Wolverine.

Deadpool is having a hard time taking down Ultimatum and his droids, but luckily a spaceship comes in hot toward the battle.

AND IT IS THE BEA ARTHUR! The spaceship of the Deadpool Corps. AKA Alternate versions of Deadpool in different universes. NORMAL.

 

Nerds.

 

There’s two extra dolts on the Deadpool “CRUE.” A golden age gas mask hero and a pulp version of hisself.

The reason the CRUE is there is simple, get Deadpool onto the ship. But they don’t give him a reason just that he’s “in danger”

So Wade is lyke, um no? I need to wait for the Avengers to clean up this mess I made.

Kidpool tells Deadpool to stop trying to hard because the Avengers and the X-Men will never like him. As they hurry onto the ship, Gasmask Deadpool says “pip-pip now cheerio, we must get on to thee ship now and drive it with duct tape. But we never get to understand why he says these things because then the black mask Deadpool murders the Gasmask Deadpool. Which is wonderful because I don’t like him.

 

YAY!

So Deadpool is like wtf? And then a battle ensues.

Deadpool knock him on his ass and is ready to give him his death-blow when black mask man bodyslides outta thurr.

Only to have bodyslid right behind Deadpool and puts a chainsaw through him.

Yikes.

It looks like our hero is about to be murdered by our other hero. Luckily Dogpool nips in to save the day.

To only then be immediately obliterated.

 

YIKES!

 

oh, maybe I should throw this in here.

As Kidpool mourns the loss of his beloved pup, Deadpool wastes no time in outsmarting this black mask Deadpool.

BMD: We have nothing in common!

DP: Except the same voice. Bodyslide by half.

BMD *bodyslides in half*

 

Bang. Got ’em.

 

Deadpool picks up the blaster gun that the black mask Deadpool was using to obliterate the other Deadpools and blasts him away.

DONE! NO more stories!

Just kidding. As it turns out there are more Anti-Deadpools according to Lady Deadpool. He was only the beginning.

Lady Deadpool says they’re at war. A suicide war.

The Watcher saw this war in advance and warned the other Pools about it.

Deadpool is like, but why us?

Then the Watcher calls him the Progenitor.

Which I guess is like the parent of all things.

What in the world???

What do you guys think of this series? Should I keep going???

Let me know in the comments below!