Hey you ever wanted to be Tony Stark?

No, I don’t mean an alcoholic!

A manufacturer of exoskeletons believes that Iron Man-esque inventions will be sold at your local fucking Home Depot and Lowes in the future.

So, like, comic book nerds have always figured that Iron Man tech could totes be possible, but like, not in a way you can fight crime in, more like in a way you can battle bots with or win first place a con costume contest. However with some people making exoskeletons, and Tesla robots running rampant, we might live to see the Age of Ultron yet.

California’s SuitX has already begun the process of creating exoskeletons and since this process has already begun and, we quote “HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY” End quote, and we also have quote “THINKING MACHINE SUPER COMPUTERS” the mainstream distribution of these armor suits are already tanking in price.

These exoskeletons aren’t going to make you fly or anything, and if Doctor Octopus shows up in your universe and you’re wearing the nanotech skin suit Tony got you, it’s unlikely that he’s going to be able to extract it for himself. The exoskeletons make you, like, stronger or something? Like, you have to exert less force when you’re wearing it.

These exoskeleton suits used to just be for the army, but then old rich white men decided they wanted to throw these suits on factory workers so they can work less people harder and not have to pay more human beings. Fucking capitalism.

Right now these outfits go for around $45,000 and they’re not even that cute.

girl, go fix your hair.

But hey, if there’s a possibility for a sentient Vision in the future, sign me the fuck up.

XOXO,

Comic Book Bitch

Official Trailer for Falcon and The Winter Soldier

Buddy Cops

FRIEND! I HAVE COMIC BOOK NEWS!

I am 100% more excited to see this new Disney+ Series after watching this trailer. My friend was telling me that The Falcon and The Winter Soldier was going to be good, but in no way did I believe her. I was skeptical because of the clusterfuck that was Captain America and the Winter Soldier.

HATED IT.

The trailer begins with The Falcon and The Winter Soldier at some sort of mediation because they do not get along. And they do not get along because both of them were in love with Steve Rogers, and he couldn’t choose between them.

I like a love triangle as much as the next Comic Book Betch, but the reason Steve never chose the Winter Soldier or The Falcon was because he was still in love with Peggy Carter. And, like, didn’t he bone Peggy’s granddaughter or something? Which is his own granddaughter because we learn that Captain America goes back in time and has a life with Peggy after Avengers: End Game?

Idk Steve Rogers shit is messy. Remember when Black Widow was trying to jump his bones?

Anyways, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier are now teammates or something who don’t get along because they are both still in love with Captain America, and without meaning to do so, Captain America pit them against each other in this weird competition for his affection. So that is what I assume what this series is about: them just talking about how much they want to marry Steve Rogers and how he was the best guy ever, and then Peggy’s granddaughter shows up and beats everyone up for them while they stare at photos of Steve.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

-Comic Book Betch

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