The nerd tea is piping hot this week and our jaws were to the floor trying to keep up with everything that’s been going on.
Whether its Shia Labeauf trying to live in his redemption era and exposing Olivia Wilde, to Abomination escaping from prison, to Rhaenyra being a badass and solving all the problems by arriving fashionably late via dragon – we had a busy week trying to stop on top of it all.
We also got to watch a sneak peak of Andor, the upcoming Star Wars show that will release September 21st with three episodes!
Brace yourself for an episode full of upcoming nerd news you will not want to miss! Thanks for tuning in.
The temperature has dropped ten degrees, we’ve started to dust off our hoodies from the back of our closets, and the sun seems to be setting earlier, at a rapid rate, as the days go on. Folks, we are wrapping up what is arguably the best season Chicago has to offer – fare thee well summer. You were pretty fun this time around. Dare we say this felt like an almost normal summer, since before Covid times?
However, we are entering what is arguably another great season Chicago gives us – fall! Spooky season is just around the corner, as well as SO MANY tv shows we can’t wait to dive right into and nerd out about.
Just this past week, we got to watch the premiere episode of the much anticipated, She-Hulk (which did not disappoint). We also got to return to Westeros with House of the Dragon – and let me tell ya, we are very very very excited and thrilled to be back amongst the dragons and our favorite problematic family of blondes. Oh, those Targaryens; we do a full deep dive into episode 1 and where we think this inaugural season will take us. As of right now, House of the Dragon has officially been renewed for a second season, which just gives us mega nerds even more reason to nerd out for what we could potentially see in years to come.
We’ll be recording weekly now leading into the winter! Andor is up next y’all. Its about to get good…
Welcome My Comic Book Bitches to another episode of How the Green Grass Mows.
If you’re looking for the episode 1 recap, let me save you five minutes of your life, it’s not there! But I will recap it if ya ask realllll nicely.
Episode 2 begins with a recap of episode 1 and it goes a little something like this:
This short, white girl shared needles with her cousin, then he took her to the beach because she turned tall and green.
Jumping into episode 2 we are shown a montage of news outlets talking about the widdle lawyer that stopped a superpowered influencer from destroying a court room. The News outlets dub her “She-Hulk” which Jennifer Walters doesn’t like, so in order to forget her pain she goes to her favorite after work watering hole.
A small feeble “man” walks over to Jennifer in her Hulk form, and begins needling her endlessly like a toddler trying to tell someone an uninteresting story. I know your story is gonna such toddler, you literally don’t leave your house.
Another small man walks over to Jennifer Walters in her She-Hulk form and his dick fully regresses into his stomach. He then asks her to make herself smaller, which is like such an old white man thing to do to a woman, and then proceeds to fire her for doing the right thing. His tiny dick pokes back out of himself and hangs sadly, as he proceeds to walk away from her after ruining her life for doing the right thing.
NOTHER MONTAGE TIME!!! This time Jennifer is out trying to get a job and she is turned down at every interview for being She-Hulk. UM MCCUSE ME, BITCH? WHY DID YOU EVEN CALL THIS POOR WOMEN IN FOR AN INTERVIEW IF YOU’RE GOING TO TELL HER THAT SHE HAS SUPERPOWERS SO YOU DON’T WANT HER.
Some things can be emails, ok?
Jenny and her bestie, Nikki, are hangin on the couch looking for jobs, because Nikki is a paralegal, and apparently a highly paid one because she is DRESSED to impress, ok? I thought those people made $15/hr and her outfit is looking like $15 a second. Jennifer gets a text from her mom about a family dinner so cut to family dinner.
Jennifer’s family is weird, and trying too hard to be funny. Ched especially has issues and seems like he missed a dose of one of his medications today.
Her whole family is very interested in her being She-Hulk and offer her advice and also ask her questions about superheroes she’s never met, or I assume hasn’t. Her father asks her if Hawkeye goes around collecting the arrows he used after he’s done with them, and to that I say, you clearly did not watch The Hawkeye series on Disney+ old man, because you would have seen that he does indeed pick them up and use them again.
Next scene, oh look she’s drinking again. -_-
Oh look she’s employed again!
The moral of this episode is that if you get fired, just go out to the bar by yourself and drink your worries away because a random man will come up to you, buy you another drink to get you more sloshy and offer you a job! Now this is the stuff of Disney dreams.
At She-Hulk’s new job, they surprise her by telling her that she has to be in She-Hulk form all the time, which as there was no interview and she accepted without any hesitation or hearing details, she was acting surprisingly pretty surprised about it. The best part of this scene is Pug. Pug is an actor whose name I don’t know, but I do know that he is in that show The Other Two and plays legitimately the same character in that show that he is portraying in this one. And I can’t complain because he is adorable in that show and he even gives the girls the map to the bathroom that is best for pooping and it is soooooo appreciated.
Pooping in an office is literally the number one issue I hear people who work in offices complain about so this is quite relatable to people who work in an office. I worked in an office for about three months once and when I pooped in the wrong bathroom I got so many dirty looks about it. I quickly learned that there was a correct toilet to poop in. So political in these offices. Yeesh.
Jennifer gets assigned her first case and it is to Emil Blonsky, there is a bit of a conflict of interest there as he is The Abomination and tried to kill her own dear cousin, Bruce. Ofc, he is very charming and English accented now and no longer high on super soldier serum so he manages to turn Jennifer Walters to his side. And who can blame her? He is very charismatic.
Jen follows up with Bruce to see if it’s okay with him that she takes Emil on as a client, and Bruce reveals that he and the abomination have made up since their fight and Emil even wrote him a beautiful haiku.
Now putting behind a huge fight like that with someone that tried to take your life is pretty crazy, but that’s not the weird part the weird part is that Hulk was inside of a spaceship the whole time and then he jets off into space.
After She-Hulk accepts her job offer, her creepy boss tells her to turn on the news, and then she sees that people have finally seen Shang-Chi, even if they didn’t make it out to the theaters it’s been streaming long enough, and the world now knows about the Abomination cage fighting in China. The issue is, he broke out of jail to go to China. So that’s tough, but if you saw Shang-Chi then you know that it was actually Wong who broke him out of jail and sent him to cage fight. Which, like, if we get a Wong episode, I will shit. I won’t even use the map to find the good pooping bathroom, I will straight shit. Long Live Wong.
This past weekend San Diego Comic Con took over everyone’s social media and decided to nearly put us in cardiac arrest over all of the incredibly exciting Marvel news (and there were others obviously – but the MCU definitely came prepared)
Unfortunately your favorite podcasters were not able to attend (us…duh) BUT despite our extreme fomo and depression over not being there to cry live to the Wakanda Forever trailer with everyone at that panel – we still decided to dedicate an entire episode to what went down at the biggest comic convention all year.
Is Daredevil returning to the MCU sooner than we think? We have a new She-Hulk trailer that looks like a blast, a Fantastic Four official release date, as well as BLADE, SECRET WARS, AND SO MANY MORE.
The limit does not exist for nerd news, however our lives are getting pretty worn thin at this point. We only thought we had to make it to May of this year for Obi Wan but the odds are against us now.
This past weekend, we were lucky enough to record Episode 46 live at one of our favorite comic cons – Fan Expo!
Chicago, you did not disappoint us and we are SO grateful for everyone who came to our show, chatted with us after and have supported this podcast since the beginning. We couldn’t do it without you!
We created a new segment for Thor Love and Thunder this episode, where we took our favorite reviews from multiple publications – and then reviewed their review! Thor has daddy issues and big golden retriever energy, while Gorr the God Butcher is Voldemort reincarnated!
The nerd news was heavy this week too. We have a sequel coming to Game of Thrones, that will dive into our favorite bastard’s life on the wall (poor guy) and we have more exciting news about Andor!
A moment of silence for all nerds the past two weeks –
(because of the onslaught of nerd news, shows, movies and everything in between)
Its a lot to balance to say the least. And if you’re like us, you need at least 3 business days to process each week’s Obi Wan episode. Our lives will never be the same after Episode 5 of the series, so naturally we deep dive into what is one of the greatest episodes of Star Wars media ever. Fight us.
Ms. Marvel also debuted on Disney+ last week and we’re ready to see what the MCU keeps developing with the next wave of young avengers. Its a breath of fresh air, times are changing, summer is here – and we’re still immensely grateful you’re with us too.
So last week, I watched the first episode of Ms. Marvel. I was never excited about this show in the first place because I am a crotchety, old man, but one of my friends said it was amazing so I was excited to watch.
I fucking hated episode 1.
But that could be because I am still a crotchety, old man. So here goes episode 2.
It starts by Kamala walking into school with some BDE. She isn’t the same shy weirdo she was before. Now she is a bad bitch taking control of her life.
She runs into a really hot dude in a meet cute type of way and they lock eyes for just an instant long enough for us to get the idea that she wants to bang this dude.
THEN her nerdy friend runs into her in a less cute way, and then as an audience we’re like, ohhhhhh okay. This is a Kim Possible / Ron thing.
Even when the main character is a hot woman, she still ends up with the fucking loser. Jesus can’t WE ever win?
Skinny white men winning even out here in Pakistani-led tv series. SMH.
K, the scene is bleeding into the next one. Kamala and her nerd friend are walking down the halls as the kids look at their phones, presumably, the budget Captain Marvel display has hit the YouTubes.
We’re introduced to another one of her friends, and maybe we met her last episode. I don’t remember and I don’t care to look into it.
The popular girl, Zoey who Kamala saved last episode is bragging about almost dying and she decides to throw a party to celebrate her suicide ideation. And Kamala and Krew don’t fuckin care, that is until Zoey invites the hot guy that Kamala had a meet cute with earlier.
WERE THEY EVEN FUCKING INVITED. HOW DO THEY KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES?
CUT TO: Kamala is practicing with her new power bracelet, she almost kills her white boy best friend, Bruno, and she saves him just before she kills him, but in a sexy way. Cause she cuddles him to the ground and then lets her arm stay around his waist for just a second longer than necessary.
This teen girl horny af.
Insert Montage of Kamala practicing her powers.
Then next scene Kamala is going to church with her friend, Not-Bruno. And it seems that being a Sheikh ain’t cool for ladies, cause they have to hide behind a partition and sit on moldy carpet to pray. WTFFFFF
Turns out white men ain’t the only ones who are shitty! Brown men are terrible too!
K TIME FOR THE NERDS TO PARTAYYYY!!!!
At Zoe’s house there are children everywhere and there is a sexy grotto for some reason. Some dude gives Kamala a drink and tells her its orange juice, but it is mixed with vodka and she takes a sip and immediately asks if she is drunk.
Is anyone that innocent at 16? I’m truly wondering, because I certainly was NOT.
ANYWAYS, the hot dude from the meet-cute earlier jumps from the top of a mountain in Zoey’s backyard into the sexy grotto, doing several flips in the air before he hits the water in a cringe-worthy belly flop.
He walks out of the water lookin all sexy with emoticons all around him before he ends up right in front of Kamala cause she is LUCKILY standing right on his shirt.
Unfortunately, the hot guy puts his shirt on and the cops come. Fortunately, hot guy has a car and he invites all the nerds to get in to escape the cops.
In the car ride, hot dude offers to take Kamala for a ride just them sometime and then they bond over Bollywood, and Bruno ain’t happy about it. I WONDER WHY.
Anyways, Hot Guy gives Kamala his number and offers to give her driving lessons. I’m sure that ain’t the only lesson he gonna give her. HEY-YOO
Next day at school Kamala has some issues with her powers and her nose turns into crystal. Luckily her best friend Nakia, who is super beautiful and fashionable btw hands her a tampon and everything is fine after that.
Meanwhile, Bruno is meeting with the school guidance counselor who has some good news. Bruno apparently applied for an immersion program at CalTech and he got in for next semester, but he doesn’t want to go cause it’s in California. WTF. Why you even apply then, idiot?
Bruno catches up with Kamala really quick to tell her about the CalTech thing, but she busy with the hot guy, Kamran.
THE NEXT SCENE MADE MY NERD BRAIN MELT BECAUSE KAMRAN AND KAMALA ARE DISCUSSING KINGO!!! THE FUCKING ETERNAL. The Eternal who dropped some comedic lines and dialogued plot points and then left the fucking battle…. BUT STILL I’M SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP! asdfghjkl!!!
Kamala’s brudduh and fiancee catch Kamala in a diner with Kamran, and Kamala lies to her brother and says Kamran is their cousin, which is gross cause Kamran was all up on her and they looked like they were about to touch tongue tips just before he walked up. Luckily her dumb ass brother didn’t notice but, his fiancee knew wtf was up.
So like the next part of the episode is about how the bangle who gives her powers belonged to her great grandmother Aisha who brought great shame upon their family, and no one wants to fucking tell her about it. She asks her grandma about it, and her grandma is like “Meh, I don’t wanna talk right now I’m tryna eat some mangoes, dawg.” So Kamala is like, erm, ok, I’ll ask my mom and her mom is like, weirdly angry about her asking. She’s all “that bitch brought shame to our family, don’t even bring up that hoe, I stg, I will throw hands.” So Kamala is like, “cool! thanks for not being cryptic at all!”
Ugh this show is long, but I think it’s almost over.
Kamala and her fam bam are headed to this Sheikh partayyy. Nakia is campaigning to get on the board of the mosque, so she gotta hit up all the cliques within the community. Those cliques are described to us in the SAME EXACT WAY Janis Ian (dyke) explained the lunch tables at the cafeteria in Mean Girls.
The Mosque Bros – bunch a hot hunks who like taking pictures of themselves and spinning basketballs on their fingers.
Pious Boys – Couple of nerds who are probably covert incels.
Sunday school Teachers – A semi-diverse group of old hags.
Insta Clique – a group of girls who don’t wear Hajibs and probably give BJs to the Mosque Bros after Sujud.
The Converts/Reverts- Three white people and a black guy who probably all married into the religion.
Mini Harami Girls – Okay, I literally googled this and Harami means coming from the Harem, which is like forbidden and banned. So these are some hoes.
The IlluminAunties – Illuminati of the 616 Universe. Busy bodies who probably have Steven Strange on speed dial.
Cut To: Zoe Zimmer getting questioned by the DODC.
Scene: FUCK DA POLICE.
Cut To: Kamala talking to the IlluminAunties about her great grandmother, Aisha. These aunties love talking shit and she hears that Aisha was a hoe and had a secret family and was also a murderer.
Now that’s the type of hoe I do like.
While Kamala is talking to the aunties, a dumb ass is hanging out of a window taking pictures of himself, and then he falls out the window, but luckily he grabs onto some curtain and that keeps him from straight up dying. Giving Kamala the chance to save him. The save is pretty damn messy and the kid ends up hurting his ankle somehow. But he fell on his back on a car. IDK. Plot holes.
The cops that were questioning Zoe end up coming after Kamala after her stunt, cause like, her spot was BLOWING UP on IG.
She runs away and then a nice ass car pulls up to pick her ass up, and inside it’s Kamran, her kissing cousin and his mama, who looks exactly like her great grandma. So now, it’s less kissing cousins and more kissing your uncle. Soooo…yeah….
Okay, I gotta say I like this show now. Sure it’s not as fast-paced as Loki or whateva but it’s a different type a show. For tweens n stuff. And I am forever in a failure to launch mode so I am down for it.
They need to make another teen show like this but sexy like Gossip Girl and RiverDale.
Its officially hot nerd girl summer in Chicago and the sun is out after 42 days of darkness in Chicago (we’re not kidding, look it up)
This past week we got to FINALLY see Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Sam Raimi did not disappoint! We break down his horror influence over the movie, how epic Wanda was AND how America Chavez has stole our hearts completely. Some of our predictions also ended up coming true. *heavy spoiler alert*
We break down the Moon Knight season finale as well, which was nothing short of emotional. What an epic show. We already miss Stephen and Marc…and even Jake kind of.
Thank you so much for your support and tuning in to our podcast. Don’t forget to check out our Youtube channel for trailer and tv show reactions and breakdowns.
Young Dumbledore stole our hearts this week in the latest Fantastic Beasts movie, Morby was a bad boy and didn’t live up to expectations and we got a brand new Thor: Love and Thunder trailer! Talk about a hell of a tease, we actually got a split second first look of Natalie Portman as Lady Thor.
Are you watching Moon Knight? If not, we’re judging you but also we got you. We recap up to this week’s upcoming episode drop – and for only a 6 episode series, there is a lot going on. Marc Spector has our hearts ❤