Writer: Gerry Dugan
Artist: Phil Noto
I decided on recapping Cable this week, because this issue finally had the action we’ve been waiting for. Unlike in the X-Men comics where they just talk in a circle all day, Cable is out here doing the damn thing. And I’m talking about pubescent Cable here.
Our story begins with a partnership as old as time, Cable and Domino. Ah, young love.
Cable breaks the ice by asking her how her powers work, and she describes it like a cosmic event. Where all the asteroids just seems to line up in a certain way, and that’s her luck.
He’s counting on her luck, which caused him to follow her to Tokyo even though they’re after the clone of his older self, Stryfe and they have no proof that he would even think about going to Japan.
Cable: So we’re in Tokyo, because of your powers, right? We should be here?
Domino: What? No. I wanted Gyoza.
So they head to a spot that Domino likes and get some fucking dumplings.
Turns out, Domino is lucky because Cable wasn’t looking at her “that way” he was staring right past her head and checking out an old man Cable clone. The baby-napper in the flesh!
Cable jumps up and runs after him. Domino decides to steal a few moments to get her snack on.
Cable follows the clone through the restaurant and shoots at him while they’re in the kitchen, because restaurant workers aren’t people. No need to treat them like they deserve to live.
The baby-napper clone runs downstairs where he has some sort of secret underground hideaway and he shuts the high-tech door behind him and now Cable has nowhere to go.
After Cable shoots at the locked door a few times to no avail, he decides to walk over in front of it and cry about his life. As he is whining about how he can’t do anything right, when he literally wins everything, the high-tech door scans his retina and lets him right in.
Dummy, it’s your clone’s hideaway. Of course you can fucking get in.
Nathan and Baby-Napper have a conversation and it goes like this:
Cable: I’m pointing my gun at you!
BN: You’re dumb and you plan bad.
Cable: I’m so upset with myself and I constantly battle with inner demons.
BN: Uhk.
Cable: I’m a sad boi.
BN: I’m going to press this button
Cable: Don’t press it, I’ll shoot you.
BN: I’m gonna press it.
Cable: Don’t.
BN: I pressed it.
Then Cable shoots him and he dies. BUT all these tiny baby Cable clones come out. Okay they’re not baby-babies but they are young Cable clones. Just as cute.
Cable fights his clones, and also battles his inner demons, meanwhile, Domino walks in with dumplings hanging out of her mouth and stupidly asks “hrmrmrhshfm??”
She decides to take a breath and look up from her box of noodles and she pulls out her gun.
She shoots every clone except the one that yells “cease fire, I’m friendly!”
She stops and he walks over to her and he’s like “how did you know it was me?”
And she’s all, “I didn’t” Then she shoots him in the head.
And then I was like AHHH OMG. SHE SHOT HIM. SHE SHOT CABLE!
Then ANOTHER Cable dusts his knees off and comes out of the woodwork and is like, “are you out of bullets?”
And Domino is like, “yeah, but even If I had one left, I probably wouldn’t shoot you, Real Cable Baby.”
Cable calls in a team to clean up the clone bodies, meanwhile Domino is like, hey there were 12 clones in here and I only shot 11. One got away.
They dip out and find this little fool real quick. Sticking out like a tall white boy in Japan as it were.
The clone knocks Cable and Domino down and then reveals his evil plan to return to Krakoa in Cable’s place.
Domino and Cable are both being psionically held down so they can’t stop him from killing them.
Luckily, remember that weird meteor thing I mentioned earlier?
Yeah. Well one of those things comes sailing out of the sky and right into clone Cable’s pretty little face.
Cable then blames Domino, and Domino is like, shut up I didn’t kill him, a meteor did, dummy.
So Cable is back to having no leads because this clone’s head just randomly busted open.
Domino tells Cable to lose her number and dips out. Cable then texts his buddies about how he left a bunch of dead bodies in Japan, and they let him know that X-Factor is inbound to clean up his little messy. I don’t know how they got a hold of X-Factor tho, because last I heard they were down to three measly members on account of all of them getting totally whacked by Morrigan.
COOL RIGHT?
But it’s not over! After our baby Cable story we get a little peek at what old man Cable is doing. He’s hunting some fuckers, hidden in a cape and carrying a big ass gun. That’s what Cable does best, hoes!
Cable walks in and tells his little robot buddy to wait outside.
He traipses in like he owns the place, but he notices a string on the ground, a booby trap. He’s too smart for that though and he walks right over it.
Unfortunately, right over that string is a giant hole.
So yeah, he gets immediately trapped in a pitfall.
WHAT AN IDIOT!
What did you think about this issue? This Cable run is finally getting good huh?! I THINK SO!
PLUS WE GOT A DOMINO CAMEO!
WOW. WOW.WOW.
-Comic Book Betch
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