In the spirit of the new Ant-Man and Wasp movie coming out, I have decided to recap the Ant-Man and Wasp series that has been out for a couple of months now. I believe issue #3 came out this past Wednesday, so if you like what I have to say here then you can head to your local Comic book store and pick up all three issues today. Which is best because the worst part of comic books is waiting forever for the next issue. It is so sad and disheartening. It’s like worse than waiting for the next episode of your favorite TV show to come out. Ya know…cause lyke…its longer?
ANYWAYS. THIS COMIC BOOK WAS WRITTEN BY MARK WAID AND DRAWN BY JAVIER GARRON. WITH AN ACCENT MARK.
We get a brief introduction to the original Ant-Man and the Wasp. Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne the dynamic duo and married avenger couple. Then they’re all “This is not their story.” And thank God because The new Hank Pym is 35 and the new Wasp is a teenager. So shit is creepy if they were a couple.
Their partnership reminds me of Hawkeye and Hawkeye, but with less kinship.
The real story begins with Scott Lang (Ant-Man) being on a weird ass planet cause he was on an adventure with the guardians of the galaxy and he needs to be saved by Nadia Van Dyne (Wasp). She doesn’t like him because Scott stole her dads Pym particle shit. But they’re sort of friends anyway.
He’s lyke, I have to go home cause it’s my daughters birthday and I got her this space flower.
So she’s lyke erm, fine.
And she takes this blaster and says he has to take off microscopically and she’ll catch him with this weird ass raygun.
Of course, he misses the window so she has to come to the planet to get him. OTHERWISE THERE WOULDNT BE A STORY NOW WOULD THERE!
So she lands on the creepy ass planet and they’re speaking this weird language. She finds Scott and she’s like um what are they saying. And he’s like omg you don’t have a translator? What an idiot. So he lets her borrow his and it turns out they’re chanting “souls, souls, souls.” Cause they think that Scott and Nadia stole their souls. Something about them wearing red. IDK they say a lot of weird shit in this comic book that you just have to accept and move on from.
So Nadia is all, “we’re not stealing their souls!” And Scott is all, “Ya but this guy is.”
And its this really creepy goopy looking guy. And Nadia says they shouldn’t interfere because it’s not their planet and it’s probably the natural order of things and Scott is all “they’re in pain!” And Nadia says okay because she is a teenager and a 35-year-old white man told her it was a good idea and she assumed he was right because he is older and a man. WHAT A WORLD WE LIVE IN.
TURNS OUT HE’S AN IDIOT.
So they go after the goopy glob man. POW BANG. Ya know. Wasp charges him and he beats her down, then Scott is lyke well if you can’t do anything then I can’t either. So Wasp is all use light to kill him, dummy. And Scott doesn’t have his cell on him but he does have Pym particles so he blows up the guy with light particles.
Unfortunately, all that explosions shit gets into Wasp’s eyes and she’s blind. And she’s the only who can “see” their way off this planet. SO HOHOHO the shit just got real.
Does that mean she’s blind or is she very very high?
READ ISSUE #2 TO FIND OUT!
OUT NOW!!!
Also #3.
BAI!!!!!!!!!!!
Comic Book Bitch 