Ladies and gentleman, I am pleased to present to you, something even cooler than I initially thought would be amazing. Truly, truly, truly, this #1 issue comic book is basically my dream scenario come to life.
Now, let’s get to boring you with the details in this here recap…
Some background before we get into this 4 issue run written by Mariko Tamaki.
Logan has been killed and the X-Men have come to terms with his death. But soon, there is an attempt made to steal his corpse. Unfortunately for the thieves, that corpse is on the move…
SPOOKY SCARY! WEREWOLF BAR MITZVAH!
So yeah, everyone is like “oh shit, the body is gone, what do we do? Let’s solve this mystery and if he’s not dead let’s put him back underground.” YAY!
The comic book begins in Maybelle, Arizona population: 343. A fabulous high-class bar and its classy patrons are getting angry at the “game” and how there are no “players” anymore just “bodies.” I have no idea what sport they’re watching, but I assume it is Rugby because I don’t know anything about that game and therefore assume the worst about it.
The bartendress happily changes the channel when the power goes out and the elegant patrons get grumpy. Some first-rate civilians offer to head to the “power station” to figure out the deal with the electricity. They are bumbling around trying to fix shit, when they hear a THUNK and decide to find out where their buddy, Larry went.
They follow the noises to a control room where they find their old pal, Larry slumped in a chair bleeding from his mouth and a really hot guy standing oddly tall for someone who is 5’3, in a plaid shirt, jeans, and accessorizing with some adamantium claws for a little sparkle to the wardrobe. A really nice effect, IMHO.
I think we can guess what happens here…
Back to the bar…
Bartendress and hillbilly man are discussing who is funnier between the two of them. Obviously, bartendress wins. Then like, this green blast of light overtakes the entire town and Bartendress is like, “Ew, why?” And then the hillbilly patron guy’s eyes start bleeding, and then the bartendress is super like, “Ew, now seriously, why?”
SO that happened. NEXT, We find the heroes of our story. Who are actually villains? HOORAY!
You can probably guess who they are based on the cover. OH, BTW big shout outs to Greg Land for the cover art and Butch Guice for the awesome and crude-looking (in a good way) artwork.
So Sabretooth and Lady Deathstrike (BFF GOALS) have set a meeting with the lovely little Daken aka the son of Wolverine. Also -side note- Daken hates his dad… But, don’t we all?
The trio decides to team up and find the missing Wolverine corpse that the Reavers were trying to steal but couldn’t, Daken is like “oh we’re friends now?” Lady D is like, “Actually, no, but we’re gonna be friends until we find and kill this guy.” Then Daken is like good because Sabretooth sucks, and Sabretooth is like, “Yeah, I’m actually the worst.”
So Lady D has a way to find and track Wolverine. They get on the road and get to tracking. This leads them to the same bar in Maybelle Arizona. Daken takes one sniff of the air and decides that his dad isn’t there. Sabre and D-Stroke decide they have to go #1 (or so they claim) and they might as well stop and look around anyway.
Daken is like well this is boring being trapped in the backseat of the car, reminds me of my childhood. OMG WAIT I DIDN’T HAVE ONE!! So he cries and is like I should HEAL THIS CHILDHOOD WOUND BY POUNDING ALCOHOL INTO MY FACE.
Daken unwittingly heads into the classy bar and finds himself face to foot with the bartendress. But before he notices her, he notices these two goons.
It becomes increasingly obvious that something is going on. ESPESH CAUSE THEN THIS HAPPENS:
THAT’S RIGHT FRIENDS!
FUCKING ZOMBIES. OH MARIKO TAMAKI! YOU WIZARD OF THE YARN!
Wolverine + Zombies = Goals.
So Daken gets his foot bitten and then all the undead patrons come out of the blue and start attacking him. As he fights back he notices that he isn’t healing. Eventually, they all climb on top of him like in one of those Rugby tackle-things. (I ASSUME) and bury him underneath their dead, rotting bodies. YUM!
TO BE CONTINUED CITIZENS!!
Now side-note and personal storytime, I shared this comic book with a friend of mine and he said wtf, why are there zombies? And to that, I say, WHY WOULDN’T THERE BE!? MORE ZOMBIES PLEASE. EVERYWHERE THERE SHOULD BE ZOMBIES ALWAYS!!
What side of the fence are you on? Are you roaming free with the undead or are you building a utopia free from their oppression? Let me know in the comments! OH! And if you have a zombie escape plan I would love to hear about that too! If you think zombies are dumb or a played-out trope, you are wrong, but I would still like to hear your side!!
BYE FRIENDS!
Comic Book Bitch 