Deadpool Too Soon?

The cover in this book is jam-packed with D-List heroes from the Marvel Universe. Only Deadpool (whataguy) could sell a comic book with Spider-Ham and Forbush Man on the cover.

The book begins with Squirrel Girl just singing along on her bike in the annoying way she does. Do you guys like the squirrel girl comic books? Because she just annoys the crap out of me. I read one thing of hers and no thank you, that was not for me.

The first few pages basically introduce the cast of characters that we have in this story. So far it’s Squirrel Girl, Spider-Ham, The Punisher, Ant-Man (who I love, secretly), Howard the Duck (?), and Forbush Man. Fun Fact: I had no idea who Forbush Man was before this comic book was created. And I am happy that I was able to live such a long beautiful life before knowing this character existed. HOW HIGH WAS THIS CREATOR!? Clearly this person was not using the good stuff.

These characters have all gathered in a haunted mansion’s living room. Squirrel Girl introduces herself by saying she eats nuts and kicks butts. This girl is popular for all the wrong reasons.

THEN Spider-Ham asks the crowd if they know what “defenestrate” means and I had to google it and it means to throw someone out of a window. Amazing. There is a beautiful word for everything in the world. One day I hope to be clever enough to use that word in a sentence.

Oh hey! Rocket and Groot show up out of nowhere and so dramatically that they basically make Howard the Duck shit his pants. Rude.

Finally Deadpool enters with his wife, Death. As it turns out someone had been blackmailing all of these heroes to show up to this location and it doesn’t take a detective to solve the mystery of who it was.

Deadpool. It was Deadpool.

Maybe it was Ryan Reynolds. Also an acceptable answer.

Where does Ryan Reynolds end and Deadpool begin? It’s like Daniel Radcliffe with Harry Potter. The casting is just TOO good.

Anyways, once the D-list heroes find out that Deadpool is the blackmailer they proceed to beat him up. Marvel heroes got issues, mane.

So why did Deadpool blackmail all of these heroes and bring them to this spooky mansion?

WHY FOR HIS CHRISTMAS CARD OF COURSE! Duh!

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Chimichanga does not do the same thing to your face cheese does for pictures just sayin’

As soon as the lights come back on, it seems someone has committed murder. But it’s just the decapitation of Forbush man. BUT ALAS WE HAVE A MYSTERY ON OUR HANDS.

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Literally a stove-top pot on his head.

A classic whodunit?!

Clue meets Ten Little Indians.

I had to read this one about three times before I started to appreciate it and I am going to buy the next issue because I have a feeling the murderer was the squirrel. Not Squirrel Girl, but the actual squirrel she walks around with. They got me with the “solve the mystery” tactic. So, have you read this comic? And if so, who do you guys think it is?!

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Guilty Squirrel
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